Ooops…your nervous system is showing

I was at ShopRite with my two year old daughter last week on our way home from a mini-family vacation.

When we got to the self-check out, there was a bit of confusion. Nobody seemed to be able to pay.

An employee eventually came forward and declared their system down and that everyone would have to go pay at the normal check out.

There were 15 of us, and only 1 cashier open.

PANDEMONIUM. 

It was a mad dash to the line.  Everyone scattered jockeying for position. Pushing, shoving, running.

And once the initial panic calmed down, that’s when the complaining kicked in.

“Are you KIDDING me?”  “How STUPID are these people?”

Since I was still in vacation mode, not needing to be anywhere immediately, I really got a chance to observe all this from the outside. It was FASCINATING.  

Everyone’s nervous system was showing.  

We all have ideals that matter a great deal to us, such as honesty, bravery, or truthfulness, but when you are chronically stressed or operating from a nervous system deficit, your behavior is driven by survival rather than your ideals.

Your brain does not have the resources and capacity to step back and go, 

“hmm…this sucks, but I’m okay.”

And when this happens, your ability to deal with inconvenience diminishes.

Instead of seeing minor annoyances for what they are, you are immediately thrown into a panic.

And based on the panicked scattering of carts that I witnessed, there were a bunch of adults responding to minor inconvenience with literal fight or flight.

To be clear, there was no actual threat. 

Nobody was in danger. Everyone would get groceries. 

But their nervous systems were responding as if they were unsafe.

Now this is important—the reasons WHY you are experiencing chronic stress probably aren’t your fault, but there are still things you can do to come back to regulation.

This is why I offer restoration and resilience focused breath programs—to help restore the safety signals your system needs in order for your better self to flourish.

Living up to your ideals isn’t something that happens organically—it’s something that is cultivated through conscious practice.

If you value patience and want to show your daughter what that looks like in action, you need to feel safe enough to do so.

You need to recognize your habitual responses to stress and you need to practice the skills to guide your nervous system so that when annoyance hits, you aren't just reacting, but pausing and choosing your response.

My name is Kevin and I want to help you live an intentional, resilient life.